Question regarding qualifiers So I work both alanon and aca programs. I am most grateful. I had a question. I understand to keep the focus on myself regarding recovery. In 12 step, I hear people suggest we identify, don’t compare.Those of you with wisdom and faith in the program, would you please let me know if you think it is at all helpful to be grateful to not have chosen to be an addict or in abusive relationships? As I write this it seems highly judgmental or else as though I set the bar so low. But the qualifiers in my life are women (birth mother; half sister) with their own trauma histories and tragic endings. My mind keeps going to wanting to differentiate myself from them. This does not feel very wholesome or healthy. I have a therapist but curious what 12 step fellows might think. I just cannot make this subconscious or mental shift and I understand the role of higher power but can not will conscious contact into being. Thank you and I respect all people in recovery and without, but I think part of my block is coming out of fear rather than compassion.

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